March 20th, 2007
i havent written anything in ages 
a part of me feels i am deteriorating.i am deteriorating.a lot has happened recently, that's a given.i think that too much drama in life made me silly and shallow. like that protective coat of paint u do on that dilapidated wall. it would make it pretty but it's still crumbling down on the insides and people would say in awe "what a pretty wall!" and in turn it would just collapse on them.hahah! i am being silly.i miss writing.
i wonder if someone is really out there... someone who could see beyond the silly coating and appreciate the deteriorating dilapidated wall...
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the saddest part about justification:
the very thing youre trying to justify is an adamant truth.no amount of justification could change it.
it would still hurt...
like how the big beautiful sun will always hide the lonesome brooding moon at day...justifying that the sun gives light and life to earth doesnt make it fair...
like how the moon will always be small and shimmering but would never be as big and bright like the sun... its unperturbed unappreciated beauty revered by few wont justify that either...
like how your small world will always revolve around the sun...
unalterable...
changeless...
like how the inconspicuous moon will always revolve around the earth...
silent...
enduring...
hoping and living for that glorious fleeting moment of solar eclipse...where she, the inconsequential melancholic moon, for once in her meager meaningless existence, would over shadow the big powerful sun.
but at the end of the day...
the moon will always be the moon and the sun will always be the sun...
c'est la vie.
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i am not a pitiful ersatz..
im someone you could touch and feel...
i am warm and im breathing...
visible...
flawed...
i am real.
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the opaque glass has cleared i guess i've always known what that is. it has always been like that
the sun will always be the sun, the earth will always be the earth... and the moon will always be the moon...
but the moon changes shapes...sometimes it even disappears.
Pluto became a dwarf planet...
Pluto is a double system, with its "moon" Charon, and the revolve around each other while they're revolving around the Sun..
it is also not on the same orbital plane as the rest of the planets, and it does not have enough gravitational force to clear its orbital path...
imperfect...flawed...not in conformity...
with these kind of changes and inconsistencies inspite of the well established facts....
who knows..
the moon might become a planet someday
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