this is a sick and horrible routine that i get myself into when i thought that i had already fixed and redirected my life.
maybe this is infact an obvious sign that some things are really not meant for me.
even if that thing is one of the few things i have always wanted. 
i cant help but severely reprove myself. my irritating susceptibility to getting fondly attached with people is taking its stressful (and sometimes a wee bit depressing) toll on me. these said people whom i unwittingly started to like as friends never stay. not that it's their choice. take my team supervisor at work for example. He is one of the most amiable, most understanding people i have ever met. inspite of my countless violations at work which includes no-call-no-show violations and numerous absences, not to mention my credit card prank i pulled on an irate customer (i am NOT apologetic about that!) and my habit of texting while at work, he is pretty much tolerant of my misgivings like an older brother. when he held a team meeting to inform us that he was actually promoted and that he would have to give us up to another supervisor, made me absurdly dispirited. and to be quite honest about it, we're not even close friends. i just got used to him being around and being my supervisor who always brightens the room with his infectious smile. im not the only one who felt this way, i can vouch for that. ask any of my team mates. funny though, his last word to me was "BEHAVE!"
a week after that, my favorite quality assurance officer informed me that he is being transferred to another account. at this time i cant help myself but utter helplessly "why is it that everyone i like never stayed?" this particular officer is very very friendly and would often crack witty jokes. He is as tolerant as my supervisor. He would ignore my mistakes AKA violations on my calls and would still give me a hundred percent grade as a rating. he assured me though that he would pick me up again as his agent if and when i transfer to the same account he's being transferred to. rubbish. might as well transfer to mars.
i can mention alot of people im quite fond of, my former roomates, former training batchmates at work, a particular chatmate and alot more. i dont know what is it with me. i have a hard time letting go of people. but i do get around with it once i get used to it. i know everything is temporary and yet i let myself get attached to them in a weird way. this is what irks me most.i envy this certain officemate who is very aloof and indifferent with people around her it almost harbors to being weird.
But I guess I would just have to be content with the fact that even though they never stayed, they made me happy. J
when will i ever learn?
maybe i wont. (and not by choice mind you!)
i would just have to live with that.
